BAUBLE, ME AND THE FAMILY TREE
Noel is used to his unusual family set-up: him, Mum, super-brainy little sister Bauble, and his gay uncles (both called Mike) next door. But when Bauble spots Mum kissing Santa Claus—in August— everything Noel thought he knew about his family is turned upside-down... Who’s the mysterious ‘F’ sending Mum romantic postcards? Why has she started taking weird photos of people in food bikinis? And, even though he’s clearly not Santa, might Dad still be alive after all? Bauble, Me and the Family Tree is published by Maverick Publishing. The cover art is by Kiersten Eagan. |
"Here’s the thing: when Bauble tells you a fact, there’s a 99.999999 percent chance it’s true. I know she was only seven when this all started, but my brainbox of a sister has always been teeth-grindingly clever for her age. For anyone’s age. On a super-swot-chops scale of one to ten, she’d be a fourteen and a half, easy. Actually, she’d probably break the scale with the sheer power of her Bauble Brains, which is why you should never ever agree to play Trivial Pursuit with her. Not even the Sports edition. She knows everything under the sun and everything over it too."
Octopuses have three hearts and nine brains |
Antarctica is a desert |
The first battle submarine used glow-in-the-dark mushrooms for light
A male emperor moth can smell a female emperor moth from 7 miles away
Ostriches swallow stones to help them digest their food
An ostrich's eyes are bigger than its brain |
Noel's feet smell |
A bee hummingbird weighs less than a penny
If you put a single grain of rice on the first square of a chessboard, then two on the next square and four on the next (doubling the number of grains of rice each time), you'd need 18 446 744 073 709 551 615 total grains by the time you reached the last square
A Venus day is longer than a Venus year |
Neptune's seasons are 40 years long |
You're taller in the morning than the evening
- What do you call a magic dog? |
Mum got a new fridge for her birthday. Her face lit up when she opened it. |
- What do you call a hen looking at lettuce and tomato?
- A chicken sees a salad.
I used to have a fear of speedbumps, but I'm getting over it slowly.
- What starts with 'e' and ends with 'e', and only has one letter in it?
- An envelope.
- Did you hear about the kidnapping in assembly?
- He woke up when I nudged him.
I was wondering why the frisbee was getting bigger... then it hit me.
I tried suing the airport for misplacing my luggage.
I lost my case.
DEAR ME...
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GET SPOON-BALANCING! The World Record for balancing a spoon on your nose is 38 minutes, 42.57 seconds. Noel's still got a long way to go to beat that! How long can you balance one for? |